Why does she always have to make ME feel So Guilty?!

Had a convo with mom this past sat. well we pretty much talked about the same issue over and over again, probaby hundreds of times already!

she always blames ME and other siblings that we still relying on their support/money, and havent succeeded yet, havent been able to make money yet...

and that she gets depressed that my dad's health condition is not as good as it used to be... and he's old now... but he's still working... yeh he definitely fits into the category of HIGH RISK group of people that would get HTN, hyperlipidemia, MI, stroke, and all that shit!!
He's 64 now, but he's Never taken any med for HTN or hyperlipidemia or other drugs for chronic diseases. Yeh he's so hardheaded, he's so DAMN Afraid to go to the hospital and even just to get a overall check-up!! Of course he wouldnt admit that he's AFRAID! He's just so damn stubborn, and afraid to know the BAD NEWS! Of course, his blood vessels are harderned up and are clotted up, but he just wouldnt admit it and get MAD everytime my mom asked him to go and to have a check up.. get a MRI or CT.

Once me and him went to the beach, we were walking and then climbing the stairs, I already ran up to the top of the stairs, but didnt see him , I waited for a while, got concerned, then I ran back to the stairs, saw him looked quite paled, and had his hand hold onto the handle, and looked like SOB, I quickly ran down to him, and asked him if he could breathe, he was like oh yeh, he was just catching his breathe!! Why the fuck he had to be so stubborn?? Couldnt he admit that he was SICK?!

YEH from that exp, I got really concerned!! Even though I already was really worried about his health since long time ago, but this was the first time that I ever saw him being so vulnerable...and saw the Signs!!

I've talked to him many times about getting a check up, he got very quiet and even pretend that he was asleep!! I even confronted him, "what's it that you are afraid of???" he never gave Me an answer!
Yeh if he's My pt, I'd be very very MAD at him!!

If pts didnt even care about their own bodies, why the hell should I care for them?! I get mad cuz I really wish I can help them, but they are just too stubborn to listen or even to do what I expect them to do!!

Back to mom's convo...

I told her, Why she always has to make Me feel sooo damn guilty?! He had Me when he was not that young!! He doesnt care about his health, and just wanna EAT EAT EAT!!

Yeh I constantly have this guilty feeling that has been bothering Me forever!! I feel that I've owed them soo much, I dont know how to repay them, and whether they'll still be there when I can finally stand on my own foot and take care of them!!

If he could just go and have a check up, and get some proper tx done, MAYBE he'll live longer, and will live till THE DAY!! I just dont know what to do!!